TYLER, AND HOW HAS HE EXPERIENCED JESUS?
COPYRIGHT JANUARY 14, 1996; Revised 1/7/2004
All rights reserved.
by R. L. Tyler
..., ...
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inclined AS LONG AS IT IS NOT CHANGED.

PART ONE

You may ask "Who are you?", or "Tell me about yourself".
What makes you run? What motivates you? What is
important to you? Maybe this letter to my three Black-Indian-
Caucasian daughters might give you an idea. The experiences
here with Jesus have made Him more real to me than anyone or
anything else. I am alive today only because of Him, so I
hope to make everyday He gives me His day.

Dear Daughters,
It is popular nowadays to talk about personal miracles
and angel experiences. Christmas is such a miracle of Love.
During this Christmas miracle time,I would like to share with
you some of the miracles and angel experiences God used to
keep your old daddy alive long enough to allow you girls to be
born. I never meant to be such a handful for God, but I seem
to have a knack for it. So bear with me and consider what God
did to let you be born, to have the gift of Life so you too could
experience, know, have and give the gift of Love.

#1 DELIVERED FROM ELECTROCUTION
There was the time when 10 year old me was in the bathroom
standing barefoot on a very wet floor. There were two neon
lights about 3' long, one on each side of the 3' mirror, running
vertical to the floor, and both were turned on. Somehow I
slipped and caught my self spread eagle style, putting my left
hand through the left neon light and my right hand through the
right side neon light. Both neon lights broke and did I get a
shock! But not even bad enough to see a doctor (brain damage
doesn't count :), and my dear Uncle Joe could only shake his
head as he tried to figure out what had happened.

#2. DELIVERED FROM SUICIDE
I was raised in a home where my dad was an active California
supporter of the KKK and White Citizen's Council, who would
proclaim loudly at home that Hitler was one of the greatest
men that ever lived. He partied and drank with his cronies
when both Kennedys and Dr. ML King were killed. He hated Jews,
Catholics, AfroAms, Mexicans -- almost anyone who wasn't WASP.
He was from a factory working family in Missouri. My mom was
an abused, neglected and sexually exploited Ohio farm girl
who looked like the young Mary Tyler Moore and whose
prejudice ran like this -- "You can go to school with
them, work with them, go to church with them, live next door
to them, but never date or marry one."

My dad was a functioning social drinking alcoholic, and was
addicted to porn, so porn was hidden in many places in the
house. By the 4th grade I was becoming sexually addicted
through the National Geographic magazines pictures of
topless African women and nude South American Indians. Between
National Geographic (National Pornographic according to
my students) and my dad's porn my sexual orientation
was completely integrated with a full blown appetite
for all women irrespective of race and ethnicity
before the age of 12.

I was twelve years old and I had just begun the seventh grade
in San Diego, California, September 1953) I
was almost 5' 10" tall and weighed about 140 lbs. and I had a
pretty bad record in the community. I had a "D" average for
grades K - 6 but was never flunked because the teachers
knew I could do the work if I wanted to do it. I was
spanked at least each month by the
principal for misconduct and I was either suspended or
expelled each semester starting with the fourth grade through
the sixth grade. In the seventh grade I had a "C-" average
with a lot of "D's" in conduct and I was getting into trouble with
the girls. I committed a couple of nonviolent felonies but was
never caught. I was miserable, confused, lonely and horny
as could be, already sexually addicted, relationship starved
and headed for real trouble.

I had been kicked out of my church's youth group
because I kept on breaking up the meetings by goofing off and
clowning around. I believed in God and the Bible, but I sure
didn't know Him personally and I figured He was unhappy
with me like everybody else. I figured, at 12, that there was
no Love in the world, that every body only had user unfriendly
conditional love, selfish “love”, and I decided I didn't want to live
in a world where there was no Love. I didn't believe there was
any Love on earth and for sure I didn't believe that my mom
and dad loved me. My mom was so desperate to salvage her
first born son that she decided to force me to go to the church's
September Palomar camp in hope of a miracle. On the way to
Palomar on the church bus, I decided that since there was no
Love on earth, I would either jump off Laurel St. Bridge in
Balboa Park or join the local street and motorcycle gang,
drinking, smoking marijuana and fooling around with the girls
until I got killed like some I knew.

That night at camp I saw people doing something I had
never seen before, i.e. consistently and sincerely Loving on each
other sincerely, unselfishly and joyfully. I wanted what they had
desperately so I decided I would imitate them so maybe I could fit
and they would accept me into their joyful and loving society. I
knew what they had was real when I got up that next freezing
morning on Mt. Palomar, walked into the men's room and saw
guys really joyful and really loving each other, heart to heart
and eye to eye -- like a loving and joyous family reunion on
a Sunday afternoon. All the more I decided that I wanted what
they had and tried to imitate them so I could at least be
accepted by them, if I couldn't have what they had.
On a noon hike that Saturday I was hanging out on the
edge of the group, trying to fit in and catch what they had. I
tripped over a Manzanilla root and meant to say "shoot" but
said "sheet" instead, and said it loud enough for THEM to hear.
I knew that "sheet" was "shit" with a Mexican accent to THEM
and I felt I had totally blown my cover and that THEY all now
knew that I wasn't really one of them. I believed they saw me
for the faker and “great pretender” that I was. I blew up
over that Manzanilla root, kicking it and hitting the bush while
verbally overflowing with stuff like "Doggone it! What's wrong
with me! I can't do anything right! I always mess up! Just
about the time I think I got it right, then I mess up! What the
heck is wrong with me!"

Now I don't know if she was an angel or not. I never saw
her before or after that encounter with the bush. I never got
her name. Later when I tried to figure out who she was, I
thought that maybe it was a young lady at church who looked a
lot like her, but she denied that it was her. Well whoever she
was, she came gently over to me as I was kicking the root and
hitting the tree and verbally dumping. She quietly stood
beside me and asked me if I would like to know why I do
things like I was doing, why I mess up. Well you know that I
wanted to know that, because I was sick and tired of messing
up, especially after messing up in the presence of the first real
joyful and loving people I ever knew. So she asked me to sit
down on a big rock over looking Don Valley on Palomar Mt. and
she proceeded to explain to me why I messed and how Jesus
could still Love a jerk like me, that He wanted a personal and
intimate relationship, to be my God and King, my Shepherd and
my Deliverer, and to make me a forever son of His Father. For
the next three hours she showed me, gently and patiently, how
and why Jesus Loved me.

I believed Jesus was real, but I sure didn't think that He
Loved me. The proof that persuaded me that God not only
could but actually did Love me was that Christ died for me,
died in my place, took my rap and punishment. I
could argue with most other points, but I couldn't deny that
Jesus died. Even unbelievers believed Jesus lived and died.
To me that was a historical fact that few disputed. So when I
saw that I had solid historical evidence that Jesus died, I was
ready to seriously consider that just maybe He Loved me
enough to really die for me. I respected and believed the
Bible, so when she showed me book after book, chapter after
chapter, verse after verse that plainly stated that the reason
Jesus died (that solid historical fact), was because God so Loved
me and the world and because He wanted to Love me as my
Father, as Shepherd, as King, as Deliverer in a very intimate
and personal relationship, - - - - my eyes began to see, my
mind to understand, and my heart wanted that Love. When she
showed me why He let them kill Him, that it was His choice,
that He died to take my place in the court of Divine Justice-----
-- well she had me. I couldn't deny that he died, and she
persuaded that God so Loved me that He sent His only begotten
Son to die in my place so that I could be His forever child ----
Eureka! Yahoo! Hot dog! I had discovered the Love I was looking
for, a Love that I could live for, a Love to give my life to and for.
I already believed that He rose from the dead and was coming
back. Now I could have a relationship with the GOD who was
real, unselfish and compassionate cherishing Love.

I believed her, accepted Him and got all excited. I told
her that I had to check all of this out with the youth sponsor,
Chuck Hill, to make sure that all that she told me was right on.
If she were an angel, then I can see why I had to check it out
with Chuck, because the Bible makes it plain that soul-winning
is the work, not of angels, but of the Spirit and his human
servants. After Chuck confirmed everything the woman had
told me, I tanked him and went up the other hill side to pray
my prayer of thanks, believing, receiving and trusting Jesus as
my God and Saviour. I was such a babe I didn't realize that I
had been born again as soon as I talked to Chuck, because
I believed and had faith in Jesus and His Word as soon a Chuck
confirmed it all. I believed and was born again even before I
made my big formal acceptance prayer.

Talk about a radical life change! Within a month of my
8th grade year (Oct. or Nov.) my grades averaged "B", I was a
leader in my church youth group, my school's Bible club (the
girls had a hard time believing I had changed), and I
determined to do what I could do for my messed up family,
especially my mom and dad.

I don't know if that young lady was an angel, but I never
saw her again at that camp after that three hour talk. I never
saw her again anywhere at anytime. Nobody else knew about
her. But God used her to keep your Dad from jumping off the
Laurel St. bridge or dying with the street and motorcycle
gangsters, perhaps so I could be your dad.

SEX JESUS AND ME

Jesus and I had a beautiful honeymoon of three years after
He saved and regenerated me. I went from being a delinquent
and sex addict (yes by age 12) to being the Bible club leader
at school and youth group leader at my church. Then came
Ruth Naomi Bruce. Great Biblical names right? Well her name
might as well have been Delilah because one day towards the
end of the ninth grade (1955) she “wiggled the bait” and
flirted with me and we struck up a conversation that led
to a friendship. Well one day at school she asked me to walk
her home, which meant a lovely walk through Balboa Park.
She said she wanted to show me something off the road and
down among the trees and bushes. In a secluded and private
spot she asked me if I knew how to kiss a girl, and how nice it was to do so. I admitted my lack of experience and said I really didn’t know. She asked me if she could show me how to and how nice it was. She was looking so good and smelling so good and was so friendly I accepted her offer. Well before we were finished she had
introduced me to necking and petting and the “sex monkey”was back on my back after three wonderful years with Jesus.

The struggle with sex sin and sexually sinful thoughts and
pornography returned with great intensity. I went to my pastor
to ask him what to do about it. He was a dear, sincere and
godly man who meant well. He told me to read my Bible more,
pray more, exercise a lot and take cold showers. I did all of
that but I still was losing the battle to control my mind and
desires way too often for my own peace of mind in Jesus.
I was the typical highly testosteroned adolescent who had
great difficulty seeing, smelling and/or touching a good
looking girl without being filled with sexual desire and
thoughts --- many times througout the day and night. My
struggle to resist the temptation of all of my dad’s porn in the house was a daily struggle, too often lost.

NO ONE told me exactly what heterosexual sex sin was or
consisted of except that genital to genital sexual intercourse
outside of marriage was sinful. NO ONE showed me from
Prov 5 and Ezek 23 with 1 Cor 6 that not only the genitals
of a female but also her breasts are to be intimately done
and enjoyed ONLY BY HER OWN MAN/HUSBAND. NO ONE
showed me from Ezek ch 16 and ch. 23 that it was sinful
for me to see, handle and or feel a female’s genital if she
was not my own woman/wife. So for 15 years of my walk
with Jesus, of teaching Sunday School, of teaching Daily
Vacation Bible School, of leading my church’s youth group,
of being a Christian Camp Counselor, of helping missionaries
in Mexico, and of working with orphanages in Mexico, I
scrupulously and consistently avoided genital to genital contact
with my girls, but way too often there was heavy petting
and nudity which I enjoyed immensely but about which I was
plagued with doubts and a lack of peace --- but I sincerely
believed that as long as there was no genital to gential contact I was not sinning.

NO ONE told adolescent Christian me that God had a plan for
those of His children who were struggling with sex sin and
losing too often. Even the King James Version hid God’s
plan from me, with its old English and unclear translation
of 1 Cor 7.
“1* ¶ Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2* Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. . . . . 7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man has his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. 8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. 9* But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.”

To Christian adolescent and Bible student me and my understanding
of “let”, that passage meant this:
“1* ¶ Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2* Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, ALLOW every man have his own wife, and ALLOW every woman have her own husband. . . . 9* But if they CANNOT contain, ALLOW them TO marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.”
Well of course I knew that my pastor and my churches ALLOWED
people to marry, especially if they were in need of marital sex.
Furthermore I knew that any good Christian CAN CONTAIN since
we are told that we CAN DO ALL THINGS, including containing
or sexual drives and desires, by Christ who enables us (Phil
2:13; 4:13). Tragically for me and all the wonderful Christian
girls I sex sinned with, that is NOT what the Word says.

It wasn’t until 15 years after Ruth Naomi Bruce that the Spirit
used the Greek and clearer translations to enlighten me that
marriage is COMMANDED to avoid sex sin, especially when one
is struggling to “contain” and not always succeeding. So finally
after these sex snares caused me to stumble, grieve and offend
many Christians and caused my first marriage to fail, I came to understand the fuller meaning of 1 Cor 7:
***1Cor7:1 ¶ But concerning the things of which ye have written to me: It is good for a man not to be touching a woman; 2 but ON ACCOUNT OF SEX SINS, each one SHOULD BE HAVING his own woman, and each woman SHOULD BE HAVING her own man. . . . 4 It is not the wife, but the husband, who exercises authority over her body; and so, too, it is not the husband, but the wife, who exercises authority over his body.. . 8 But I say to the unmarried and to the widows, It is good for them that they remain [unmarried] even as I. 9 But if they are NOT HAVING CONTINUING CONTROL OF THEMSELVES [to keep from sinning sexually once in a while], THEY SHOULD MARRY; for it is better to marry than to burn.

The “SHOULD” represents the Greek imperative, which means
it is as much a COMMAND TO BE OBEYED as “YE MUST BE BORN AGAIN” that a married couple be having each other, and that the one who fails to keep COMPLETE CONTROL of himself is COMMANDED BY GOD TO MARRY. Finally I learned that His solution for avoiding sex sin and for those too often loosing the battle against sex sin and temptations --- is not more Bible reading,
more praying, a lot of exercise with cold showers. Finally I
learned that MARRIAGE is His solution for avoiding sex sin and for those too often loosing the battle against sex sin and temptations.
Finally I learned that when under His command to marry I should
marry any willing godly and Spirit filled mate He provides and about whom I have no godly doubts (Rom 14:22 - 15:5), without waiting until some Christian comes along who meets all my preferences and/or requirements.